Falling in love is a perfectly natural and common experience. However, that does not mean that you must love your new partner’s children. On occasions the step-parent and child relationship may be extremely difficult to come to terms with. Premarital counsellors can help a couple discuss these potential areas of conflict and find ways to ensure the marriage will become a great success.
The Children Might Not Like You
For a variety of reasons, the step-child may not be enjoying the possibility that their parents may be marrying you. Whether through divorce or death, the child may not be pleased that you are taking over or joining the role conflicting with the other or replaced parent.
The child and the single parent will have developed a relationship and it is difficult to encourage immediate and boundless feelings when a third party enters the deal.
There may be an age conflict where the child’s new step-parent is quite close in age to that of the children. This difficulty brings a struggle where the child does not know whether the new potential parent is going to be a best friend or an enforcer of the law.
Keeping the children involved
Premarital counsellors will help you discuss any areas of potential conflict that have arisen or may arise soon. It is important that couples include the children during the engagement process, particularly where the children are to be closely involved in the marriage ceremony.
Young children may have difficulty in processing the new set of information that involves a different parent being in control of decision-making processes. They may see that one of their parents has been cast aside in favor of this new individual, which can automatically bring a high level of resentment to the discussion table.
Working closely with premarital counsellors, everyone involved will be able to learn how to listen to the areas of conflict and use better communication skills to avoid conflict in the future. By listening and understanding to all the concerns of those involved, the new marriage arrangement can begin this new life successfully.
The entire set of events may cause other complications because a lot of negativity may still be hanging in the air, especially where divorce is involved. Where a previous partner has died, there is a period of grief that varies for everyone. The premarital counsellors will endeavor to ensure that all the conflicts surrounding the step-parent issues are discussed and resolved before the new marriage begins.
